I’m going to try and knock out the rest of the Disney World parks before I go to Wizarding World of Harry Potter in a month, so here we go for Epcot, which was the second park built. A little fun tip, instead of parking in the EPCOT parking, park at the Transportation Center and take the monorail to the park. You can do this for Magic Kingdom, as well.

Epcot is divided into 2 parts, Future World and World Showcase. Future World is really where all the rides are and World Showcase is home to little vignettes of countries. And I have one word for you: booze. If you’ve never heard of it before, you can do what is colloquially called the World Tour. This is definitely not an activity for the kiddies. But I’ll get to that later.

The park as a whole is aimed to be very educational, but fun. Future World is just chock full of learning. It’s home to Living with the Land,  The Seas with Nemo & Friends,  Ellen’s Energy Adventure and Spaceship Earth. I love The Seas. Finding Nemo is my favorite Pixar movie and Nemo and his pals are everywhere! There’s even a show with an interactive Crush. It’s also home to more thrilling rides – Test Track, Soarin’ and Mission: Space. Those three are definitely must-do’s. Test Track takes you through some basic car safety tests like handling and weather then shoots you out to do a few high speed laps. Mission Space keeps you in a tumbler that mimics the G-forces and twists and turns of a spaceship launch. And Soarin’ gives you a hang-gliding tour of California. But if you plan on doing the World Tour, it’s best to do them first to avoid vomiting while riding them.

Now, onto the adult fun stuff. World Showcase is set up around a lagoon. Anyone who drinks knows the saying “Liquor before Beer you’re in the clear, Beer before Liquor never been sicker,” right?

With that being the case, hang a left and start in Mexico and La Cava del Tequila inside San Angel Inn. As it’s name implies, it serves tequila. And any place that serves tequila also serves margaritas if you can’t handle straight tequila. There’s also Mexican beers. I’d stick with a shot of tequila or a beer as the margaritas are mostly sugar and won’t be sitting well in your stomach after a while, especially in the heat and humidity of Florida. Next up is Norway, which is also home to Maelstrom. This is another good reason to start in Mexico, which also has a ride called Gran Fiesta. While mostly gentle boat rides, it’d be safer to go on them as you’re starting to drink and not towards the end of the bingefest. Now, what do they offer in Norway? Beer and Irish coffee. Really? I know the UK is kinda close to Scandanavia, but they should’ve left the Bailey’s in England. So that leaves you with a beer, wine or a shot of Aquavit, which is a caraway-flavored liquor. I had a shot of the Aquavit, and it was actually quite tasty.

Next up is China, which was under construction last time I was there, so there wasn’t a whole lot to offer. Now that it’s back, my research has led me to find that it sells Yuengling. While delicious, it’s brewed in PA, not China. So for the sake of staying true to the goal of the World Tour, try Tsingtao in the cafe or a cocktail at the Joy of Tea stand outside. There’s also a plum wine to try, which sounds quite tasty. Following China is “Africa.” There’s not much to it besides a few stalls and kiosks, but they do sell beer, although none of it comes from Africa.

Now comes the country of my people: Germany. There is no shortage of beer in this country. I’ve been here for the lunch buffets both of the last times I was here, and it’s been great. There’s an oompa band to entertain you while you stuff your face with German food. This is definitely a good place to ask the wait staff what they’d recommend since the selection is so great. And it wouldn’t be Germany without Jagermeister and schnapps! Following Germany is Italy. Personally, I’m a limoncello fan, so that’s what I got. But they also serve plenty of Italian wine, peach bellinis and an Italian beer.

Following Italy is the US, which means beer. It also means you’ve reached the halfway point in your bingefest. And apparently beer is all they serve in the US. No Jack Daniels or wine from Napa here, which is a shame. They of course serve Bud and Sam Adams here, which between the two I prefer Sam Adams. Next up is Japan, famous for sushi and sake. This was the first place I tried sake and it is quite tasty if you’ve never had it before. If you want to stick with beer, they do serve Kirin Ichiban as well.

Next up is Morrocco. As an Islamic country, there really is no alcoholic drink that you’d associate with it. But Disney took it upon itself to invent some drinks for Morrocco. They came up with more margarita-type frozen drinks. They do serve a beer that is brewed in Morrocco as well, so that’s the extent of the offerrings in Morrocco. Coming up after Morrocco is France. It does have lots of wine and champagne like you’d expect, as well as a French beer.

You’ve hit the home stretch after France and you’re probably stumbling into England. And when you think of drinking in England, you think of having a pint in a pub. And Disney didn’t leave that out when they constructed England. This is the only real bar aside from La Cava del Tequila. You can order mixed drinks as well as pint of Guinness, Harp or Bass Ale. They also have a selection of Scotch and wines. And now you’ve reached the end – Canada. It unfortunately gets the same treatment as the US…it only serves beer. There is a full bar at the restaurant, but you need resevations to get in, so you’re left with the kiosks and beer. They do offer one mixed drink as well as a Bacardi mojito at a kiosk once you leave, though.

This is a lot of alcohol, obviously. If you stick to one drink per country, that’s a total of 12 drinks (including “Africa”). You will be properly smashed by the end. I’ve never done it the whole way around. I’ve picked and chosen – the Aquavit, a beer in Germany, a limoncello, sake and a glass of wine in France. Something to definitely keep in mind is the heat and sun: DRINK WATER! All this alcohol will leave you dehydrated, so unless you want alcohol poisoning, keep drinking water and lots of it depending on when you are travelling. A great thing to do is share drinks. If you only share with one person, that takes the 12 drinks down to 6. And if you’re there in the dead heat of summer, a beer koozie may not be a bad idea to keep everything cold.

Epcot may seem pretty boring on the surface, but there are a few thrills to be had. It’s also home to a drinker’s version of a marathon. Something I plan on doing next time I am there is starting at noon when the World Showcase opens and just taking my time and tasting a little bit of everything. A truly great way to end the night is by getting a table at the pub in England for IllumiNations, which is their nightly show that takes place in the lagoon. It’s not as spectacular as Fantasmic over at Hollywood Studios or the Main Street Electrical Parade at Magic Kingdom, but still a very nice show.

Now, that was the full-day tour. If you’re only there for a half-day, what time you go depends on what your inentions are. If you’re going for the rides and will be spending minimal time in World Showcase, go in the morning and be sure to use and abuse your FastPass. If you’re going for the drinking, the afternoon and evening work out better for you since World Showcase only opens at noon.

Now, onward to Hollywood Studios!