An Ode to My City

Cincinnati, Ohio. It doesn’t really give you visions of grandeur from a great city, like New York City, New York or Chicago, Illinois does. You may not know that we exist, let alone where we are. But, like the little Whos on Horton’s dandelion, I’m here to insist that we are in fact here. I was born and raised here, and I’m not ashamed to call myself a Cincinnatian. As previously mentioned, I work at the front desk of a hotel, as well as a concierge of sorts for a group who stays with us for a month about 8 months of the year. It’s kind of my job to know what there is around town. We may not have the plethora of museums, parks and restaurants that you’ll find in NYC or Chicago, but they aren’t lacking in quality.

The Cincinnati Art Museum is a great way to spend a day, plus admission is always free, thanks to a generous gift from a local arts patron’s philanthropic foundation, The Richard and Lois Rosenthal Foundation. They have on permanent exhibit a wonderful collection of Rookwood pottery from the famous pottery company here in Cincinnati. There’s a whole wing dedicated to the arts from Asia, India and the Islamic world. They also have pieces from the greats; Picasso, Monet & Matisse just to name a few. When I was there in December they had a collection of Gainsboroughs on loan, which were breathtaking. Last time I was there they even had a few Warhols on special exhibit. There’s an exhibit featuring artists who’ve called Cincinnati home during its formative years and works depicting the area while they were in residence, which I’ve always found intriguing to see how my hometown looked before it became the city I know today. Then there’s a collection of European and Christian art, African art and art from ancient Egypt, Greece and Rome. They even have a conservation project for Van Gogh’s piece “Undergrowth with Two Figures” that you can watch them work on. There’s so much to see that you really need to dedicate a whole day if you want to see everything.

The location of the art museum is also of note: Eden Park. This gorgeous park is located up on a hill called Mount Adams that overlooks the Ohio River and the downtown area. For a bit of trivia, Cincinnati is sometimes likened to Rome because both cities sit on seven hills. We even have a copy of the Capitoline Wolf in Eden Park, a gift from Mussolini himself. Eden Park is also home to the Krohn Conservatory, which has a wonderful butterfly show each year highlighting butterflies from a specific country and the culture within that country. This year’s show is highlighting Brazil. The park is also home to Playhouse in the Park, which puts on wonderful productions. It has the world premieres of 2 Pulitzer Prize-winning shows under it’s belt, as well as winning a Tony Award for Best Regional Theater and Best Revival for “Company.” Overall, it’s a wonderful place to go to enjoy a leisurely walk, not to mention enjoying some culture.

Speaking of culture, the Museum Center at Union Terminal is fantabulous as well. The building itself is a beautiful work of Art Deco construction. Anyone who’s ever seen the Hall of Justice from the DC comic universe knows what Union Terminal looks like on the outside. On the inside, there are 3 museums. Personally, my favorite is the Natural History & Science museum, but there’s also the Cincinnati History Museum and the Children’s Museum. There’s also a special exhibition area where we’ve previously had the Bodies & Titanic exhibit. Right now they are hosting a Cleopatra exhibit. And then there’s the Omnimax theater, which shows wonderful IMAX films. One of my favorite things to do on a lazy Friday night is to go see a Friday Night Classic, where they show old documentary films.

And those are just the big museums and most known park. There’s also the National Underground Railroad Museum, the Contemporary Arts Center, the Taft Museum of Art and even the Creation Museum. We also have historical sites, like the Harriet Beecher Stowe house, the William Howard Taft house and a few Civil War sites like the Waldschmidt Homestead. One of the best parks in my opinion is Bellevue Hill Park. It’s a small park frequented by students at UC because of it’s proximity, but it has a gorgeous view of the downtown area and the river. There are also the bigger parks like Winton Woods and Sharon Woods, which have all sorts of activities like boating and horseback riding.

And of course we also have our sports teams. We have the MLB’s Cincinnati Reds, the NFL’s Cincinnati Bengals and the ECHL’s Cyclones. Then there’s the UC Bearcats for college football and basketball, plus their intra-city basketball rival, the Xavier Musketeers. And if you’re looking for some summer fun, there’s Kings Island and The Beach.

Two of my absolute favorite things to do are the zoo and the aquarium. The Cincinnati Zoo is the second oldest zoo in the country and is also a registered National Landmark. It’s ranked in the top 5 of all zoos nationally, has a well-established endangered animals breeding program and is currently going through a major renovation, which you can currently see in the form of the new Vine Street entrance and Night Walkers house. They even have a solar-panel canopy that sits atop the parking lots, keeping your car cool and providing the zoo with 20% of it’s energy needs.

As far as city restaurants are concerned, I have one warning. Don’t buy into the hullabaloo for Montgomery Inn. Their BBQ sauce, while delicious, isn’t enough to save their ribs. I usually get the spring chicken, which is quite enjoyable with the BBQ sauce. One thing I will suggest you try is Skyline Chili. A cheese coney is $1.50, so it’s a lot cheaper to try that out than it is for a $25 slab of ribs at Montgomery Road.

I highly suggest Urbanspoon to figure out where to eat. We have 4 steakhouses that are operated by Jeff Ruby, and all of them are spectacular. They really are the best steaks in town. There’s also the romantic Italian restaurant Primavista that sits on a hill in the west side of town overlooking the city. And we also have the first authentic Hofbräuhaus outside of Munich, as well as a soon-to-be opened Christian Moerlein Lager House. We are a German town historically, and we’re getting back to our roots as a major player in the American brewing world. And if you’re a fan of Diner, Drive-ins and Dives on Food Network, Guy even made a stop to a couple of places in town. He visited Terry’s Turf Club, which honestly is THE best burger in Ohio, and Blue Ash Chili, which is a yummy variation of the classic Skyline chili recipe.

And as with any city, I’m scratching the surface here. There’s loads of other things to see and do and other restaurants to try. But you’ll never know what else is here until you visit.

A Treatise on Staying Childless

This is not completely unrelated, but I’m going to qualify my previous statement about not having children. I’ve been watching a little too much Sex and the City lately. Today before I left for work today I was watching A Woman’s Right to Shoes. Now that I’m in my late 20’s and rapidly coming up on my 30’s, I’m surrounded by friends that are engaged, married already, have kids or want to have kids. And by God does Carrie have a point. Between bridal shower, wedding and baby shower gifts, it’s easy to rack up hundreds of dollars per couple, excluding travel if it’s required for these events. And no single person should be chastised for spending money on himself or herself when they spend that same money on their children.

I may not want an extravagant collection of Manolo Blahniks like Carrie, but I want extravagant vacations. I want to be able to go whenever I want and not have to worry about taking my child out of school for trips or hiring nannies. I want to be able to see the world and stay at posh hotels and not have to worry about kids getting lost amidst the throngs of tourists. Why can’t I expect the same kind of financial support for the things I want in life that they get from me? And I shouldn’t have to give up on the life I want because society dictates I have to settle down and procreate. We no longer live in the 18th century. We can choose to do what we want in life.

It shouldn’t be considered selfish to spend the amount of money married folks do on their kids on what I want to do. It shouldn’t be considered less of a responsibility for me financially if my bills are all paid and I choose to take a weekend trip with my extra cash instead. It takes almost a million dollars per child to raise them to 18, excluding college. But all I see are fabulous trips to Tahiti in the overwater bungalows or spending sprees in Paris in my future, not baby formula, clothes that don’t fit after a month and education costs.

I am routinely reminded why I want to be childless, beyond my desire for travel, at work. Kids are snot-nosed brats. No matter how good you think you’re raising them, their friends influence who they are beyond your watch. They may be sweet little angels while you’re around, but get them out with their friends and they are hell-raisers. Trust me, I see it most weekends while we have athletic teams in. The parents sit down for beers and let their children roam free. I’ve even had incidences where a parent will ask if I’ve seen their child. I’m sorry, I’m only paid to work the desk, not to baby-sit your child while you go off and get drunk (again, these are my opinions and don’t reflect those of my company). But therein lies the problem with most parents these days. They have them because they feel some obligation to do so, not because they want to. Not to be a terrible hippie about it, but the planet is extremely overpopulated. Want proof? Look at the job market. There are too many people for not enough jobs. Do you really want to bring a child into the world when they may not be able to find gainful employment as an adult?

I don’t want people to think I’m a hateful hag. I love kids. I just don’t want any of my own and think adults should be more judicious about having kids. Children are a blessing and a responsibility. You shouldn’t have them if you aren’t ready for that burden. I think having a bucket list of things you want to do before you have children is a good idea for any would-be parent. Do your bucket list before having children. You’ll be happier in the long run because you won’t look back and think “Oh, I should’ve done that before I had Sam Jr.” Since my bucket list is extensive, I’ve decided to forgo having children. But that’s my choice. Don’t think less of me for it.

San Diego and Vegas!

So I’m going to San Diego this January. Pretty far off, but I’m still excited. I have some friends that live in San Diego, so I’ll be spending time with them. It’ll be nice to get away from the dreariness that is winter in the Midwest for a week and a half.

While in San Diego, I’m planning on taking a day trip up to Disneyland. The friends I’m staying with will have a 4 month old baby at that point in time, so it’s never too early for baby’s first Disney trip. I’m also thinking of going to the San Diego Zoo and maybe Sea World. It’ll be too cold for the beaches, but I’m sure there are other ways to spend my time.

And I was thinking about this trip earlier when it dawned on me that this would be the perfect opportunity to take a few days and visit Las Vegas. I looked at flights and it would only be adding around $60 to the flight to detour to Las Vegas on my way home from San Diego.

While in Vegas, I’m staying at the Embassy Suites by UNLV. Not on the Strip, but with my employee discout it’s only $39 a night and they have a shuttle, so that’s a pretty awesome deal. I think I’ll avoid the Blue Man/Cirque du Soliel shows. I’ll only be there 3 nights, so it’s pointless. Plus, I’m really not that enthused to go. I hear they’re great shows and all, but I really can’t justify spending that kind of money for a show.

I’ll definitely go to Treasure Island since I’m drawn to most things pirate-y like a moth to flame. I’ll want to see the Bellagio fountains and have my Ocean’s Eleven moment. There will possibly be a gondola ride at the Venetian. I’ll definitely want to go to the Stratosphere for the rides. I’m an adrenaline junkie, I can’t help it. Beyond that, I’ll play a little Blackjack and spend a little time reading poolside. Truth be told, I’ll probably walk up and down the whole strip and get my pictures in front of all the casinos. Yes, I will be a quintissential tourist and be photo-happy. Am I worried about going alone? Not in the least. Alone time is vital to me, so it’ll be nice to be away from family and friends and just have some quality “me” time. I am slightly saddened by the fact that I won’t have a kick-ass pool, but considering the highs are only in the 50’s I’m not horribly concerned. Next time I think I’ll go during the summer so that I can enjoy some serious poolside action by getting a cabana at Mandalay Bay.

An Adult Perspective on Disney World, Part One: When to Go & Where to Stay

I love Disney World. I’m a 27 year old woman and I’m not afraid to admit that fact. I’m also a 27 year old woman without kids, nor do I ever plan on having kids. This aversion to a family life can pose problems if you want to take a Disney vacation. So, I’ll go through my last Disney trip and give you tips I used and those I learned along the way.

The biggest and easiest way to enjoy an adult Disney vacation is to go during the low season. It shouldn’t be any secret that while kids are in school they obviously won’t be at Disney World in gigantic numbers. There will still be large numbers of people, just nowhere near as many. It’s best to avoid holidays of any kind, so avoid:

-Christmas Break from mid-December through the first week of January. Not only is this the busiest time of year for Disney, it’s almost the most expensive. It’s got it’s own price bracket that’s more expensive than even the “peak” season. So unless you absolutely MUST see the Christmas decorations, make your holiday plans elsewhere.

-Mid-February through August. These months flucuate between being called “regular” and “peak” seasons. Starting around Valentine’s Day and the 3-day President’s Day weekend, Disney World gets busier. Once past Febraury, it’s Spring Break season, followed almost immediately by the summer months. And don’t be fooled by them calling summer the “regular” season. It may be “regular” because it’s when they have their average sized crowds, but man is it crowded. It’s prime family vacation season, so there’s kids EVERYWHERE!

So that knocks out 2/3 of the year. Yes, it looks bleak. But again, since you’re an adult without familial ties, it’s easier to take a vacation in January, September, October and November. Also, the weather these months are wonderful. It’s the tail end of hurricane season and around 90 degrees once September rolls around, but it will only get cooler until next spring.

There are also a couple of considerations for travelling during the low season. The parks are open for shorter hours because of the lower business. And then there’s Extra Magic Hours. The parks all open earlier or stay open later for guests of the Disney World resorts on a rotating schedule. Whichever park is the Extra Magic Hours park will be the busiest park that day.

Now, there’s a whole other set of considerations when looking into a place to stay. The cost of a hotel is something you’re unable to avoid unless you live in the greater Orlando area. But with it being such a tourist hot-spot, you have loads of options. You can stay at one of the many resorts on Disney property or somewhere off-site. The last couple of times I was there I was there with family, so we used our timeshare to get a condo on the Marriott World Center property just on the other side of I-4 from Disney World. Not everyone has that luxury, but if you can swing it, it’s a really nice way to stay in the Orlando area. You basically have an apartment, so you can cook for yourself and not spend so much money on food in the parks. We had breakfast before we left and then a late dinner when we got home at night, then lunch and a snack at the parks.

If you want to stay on Disney property, you have lots of options. The last time I was there and stayed on-site I was at the Port Orleans Riverside resort. The resorts are nice because of the added bonus of free transportation. If you’re trying to keep costs to a minimum, you can skip the added cost of a rental car because once you get to the property, there’s a bus that will take you anywhere you’d want to go on Disney property. Plus you have a safe ride in case you imbibe a little too much at Epcot or Downtown Disney. If you’re staying off-site, there may or may not be a shuttle to the parks, plus there’s the $12 a day parking lots at the parks. But there’s also greater variety of places to stay off-site to fit your expectations and price range. It has the second highest number of hotels in America. Only Las Vegas has more options.

I know next time I can afford to go I’ll be staying at the Polynesian resort. That’s just my personal preference. It’s tropical and I love tropical locales. But there’s resorts to fit just about everyone’s budget and tastes. Of course, the nicer places are more expensive. The Animal Kingdom Lodge looks absolutely stunning and sits amidst it’s own personal animal preserve. You can wake up and watch giraffes walk by while eating your breakfast, but you obviously have to pay for such a luxury. Both the Polynesian and Animal Kingdom Lodge are “Deluxe” hotels and are a hop, skip and jump away from their respective parks, so even in Disney World, it’s all about location, location, location. The rooms are also bigger and more like suites than standard hotel rooms.

In the “Moderate” range, you’re paying less, getting less and getting a bit further from the parks. This is what the Port Orleans Riverside falls under. The “Value” level hotels are the cheapest and offer the least amenities. If you’re going solely for the parks, these price brackets aren’t bad ways to go since you’re going to be spending a minimal amount of time at your resort. These rooms are your standard hotel rooms.

Then there’s the mack-daddy of the resorts…the “Deluxe Villas.” Most are just special areas in existing resorts, but these are essentially condos. If you want a real, relaxing vacation with room to spread out, this is the way to go.

Just as a point of reference, here’s some pricing for the high and low seasons, using the cheapest room option.

Jambo House (Deluxe Villa): Value season-$280; Regular season-$330; Peak season-$410; Holiday season-$465

Beach Club Resort (Deluxe): Value season-$335; Regular season-$385; Peak season-$465; Holiday season-$545

Coronado Springs Resort (Moderate): Value season-$159; Regular season-$180; Peak season-$204; Holiday season-$244

All-Star Movies Resort (Value): Value season-$82; Regular season-$102; Peak season-$129; Holiday season-$164

Of course, this is just a point of reference. If you want prices for a specific date or a different resort, the Disney website can help you out with that. But you can plainly see that the low season is best, not only for crowd levels, but for the prices on hotel rooms.

So I hope that helps those you who, like me, still love the Disney magic. This is only a first post in a series, so check back for posts about an adult take on the different parks.

Confessions of a Hotel Front Desk Clerk

Something that everyone should know from the start is that I work at the front desk of a national hotel chain. I’ve had this job for 6 years now, so I’ve seen a lot.

As a disclaimer, any thoughts regarding my job are mine and mine alone. They do not represent the views of my coworkers, my company or management team. They are just my observations.

One of my biggest pet peeves are guests who chew you a new asshole if something goes wrong. If you’re so worked up over something and you start yelling at us, you’re going to get one of two responses from most hotel employees. 1. The employee will try to calm you down by saying “I understand” then talk about options to make your stay better. Please stop yelling and listen to what they are saying. Take a chill pill and work with them. They are trying their best to rectify the situation. 2. Your yelling will cause the employee to shut down and they will not put the effort into helping you. You will continue to be pissed off and nothing will get done besides the bare minimum…if you’re lucky.

I know I am much more likely to put just a wee bit more effort into helping someone and even go above & beyond (free breakfast, drinks) if someone treats me with the dignity I deserve as a fellow human being. Go ahead and get a good yell in, but if the entire conversation is you yelling at me and not listening to how I’m trying to help you, the conversation isn’t going to go very far.

It’s easy to tell if you’re staying at a hotel where people enjoy their work. People will bend over backwards to make sure your stay is excellent. But you have to work with us. If we can’t completely fix your problem, we will try to work something out. We may not be able to switch you to a room with 2 beds tonight, but we can move you tomorrow night and give you some extra bedding for tonight. Oh, I’m sorry it’s a smoking room. We can deodorize the room to help mask the smell for the night.

So please, keep this in mind the next time you’re at a hotel and something goes wrong. You’ll get a lot further with us.

Anything you want to know? Leave a comment!!